i hate surprises / hot summer night

By Natalie Stypa

i hate surprises

i hate surprises cause they deprive you of anticipation  
the most perfect joy  
the taste of chestnut honey will always remind me  
of living in italy with you  
i have never let myself arrive, i know  
(let us always depart and never  
arrive, von der wense wrote. i wrote  
it on the first page of my calendar the year  
after we met)  
for the first time in a while, i  
wanted to kiss someone else badly  
in my dream last night  
there are millions of options, seemingly  
i can do all  
a giant pool stretching out before me  
and time is beckoning me to  
just jump right in  
endless choice paralyses me  
(be it with yogurts lovers jobs)  
infinity is never good  
in any of its forms 

hot summer night

beer and crisps in a hot summer night  
that smells of lime tree  
and laundromat detergent  
watching you weld some  
metal parts with bare chest  

more beer from the pakistani who is  
a bangladeshi as is the owner of  
the laundromat, he’s all  
excited, his wife is giving birth  
all we give birth to is more amore  

the morning is grey sky hot humid air  
rain drizzle sweet everpresent scent  
of tiglio. today we’re in the tropics  
heavy air pregnant with 

we wait, lick  
thick and creamy chocolate sauce  
from the plastic tray of profiteroles

Natalie Stypa is a writer and artist currently based in Berlin. Instagram: @needybitchcravings

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